Created for Connection

By Dean Collins

There is some good, some bad, and even some ugly results when we choose to do things by ourselves. Like most things in life finding the right balance of independence and interdependence is very important in developing a healthy perspective on life and in being successful in our work and our relationships with both God and man.

From a developmental psychology perspective, human development happens in stages across the lifespan. While humans are very similar in many ways, we are also amazingly unique. Psychologists usually stress that while certain behaviors and issues are common to individuals at each of life’s stages, for various reasons development might progress more slowly.  This sometimes may cause a person to become stuck and not fully progress to another stage as might be predicted. All of that to say that human development involves gaining healthy independence. We all need to be able to take individual responsibility for ourselves, and therefore we should be able to be alone and do quite well.

Jesus modeled and Paul expounded on the fact that our spiritual development must include taking time to be alone and especially alone with God. Luke 5:16 is one of several verses where the gospel records that Jesus withdrew to pray: “But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” 

We all need to get away from the stress, the situations that bring the stress, and even from people in general so that our minds can clear. As nice as it sounds, you do not need a cruise, an all- inclusive resort, or even your family around you every minute. Jesus modeled stepping away from his closest friends and his mother.  He went to the mountains or other desolate places to regain his strength as he spent time with his father in heaven. We can and should do the same.

A bad example of being alone is described in Proverbs 18:1: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” When we choose to isolate and simply pursue our desires, we can fall into a trap that leads to shutting out the voices of those who love us and who can help us. Sometimes isolation can lead to self-indulgence and overindulgence that can lead you down a path of trouble including possible addictions. Our pleasures sometimes serve as self-medication that we use to avoid dealing with our day-to-day lives. Self-medicating on alcohol, sex, exercise, or drugs will rob you of human connection and healthy intimacy with God and others.

An ugly example of isolation might be the story of Jonah, who rebelled against God’s instructions, got on a boat, and tried to sail away from obedience. Even after he repented in the belly of the great fish and did what God asked of him, he still pouted because he didn’t get his own way. Rebellion in any form is an ugly way to live and will never bring joy and fulfillment in life.

Ultimately, God wants us to have fellowship with him and with others. The psalmist declared in 133:1 that it is good and pleasant when we live in unity with each other. Unity cannot be achieved without including God. Through Christ we are called into and to be a part of the Kingdom of God. The unity we have with each other in Christ brings flourishing in our communities and accelerates the expansion of God’s will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

In Hebrews 10 we are encouraged to stir one another in love and good works and to not neglect coming together to worship and encourage one another. This doesn’t mean that we should never be alone. Jesus even said to find a closet and spend time with him in prayer. We cannot live in isolation but must always follow our time alone with God with fellowship with each other. 

Father, thank you for your word that teaches us to take times to be alone yet warns us not to isolate ourselves from others or from the assignments you give us. Today we seek you in times of prayer and meditation and then offer ourselves back to our communities where you have called us to serve.  In Jesus name, amen.

Your Time with God’s Word
Proverbs 18:1; Matthew 6:6; Luke 5:16; Hebrews 10:24-25; Galatians 6:2, 4-5; Psalm 133:1 ESV

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