From Stubbornness to Surrender
Sometimes it takes something extreme in order for us to admit that we were wrong. Back in my days as a marriage and family therapist, I watched quite a few individuals struggle to admit they were wrong about something. It was sometimes painful to watch the twisting of facts that some used in order to maintain their position. And sadly, sometimes when one spouse admitted their mistake, I watched as the other simply would not consider forgiveness as an option. Not now, not ever.
Before his Damascus Road experience, Saul was absolutely sure he was right. His depth of understanding of the law and his rule keeping produced a quick rise in leadership. He was determined to stop the growth of the church in and around Jerusalem. He and other Jewish leaders were convinced that pressure, even persecution, of those who followed Jesus was what was required and would eventually stop this belief in the resurrection.
In Acts 26, Paul retells the day he was struck by divine light. The light was so overwhelming that Saul fell to the ground and heard a voice in the Hebrew language say, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” Can you imagine that moment? Especially knowing what we know, which Saul was yet to discover, that the question was spoken by Jesus, God’s son.
It is interesting to note that while Jesus left Saul in the dark for three days according to Acts chapter nine, in Paul’s retelling of the story he didn’t reference how long he was without sight. What struck Paul as he told his story to King Agrippa was that Jesus answered the question Saul/Paul asked when he was blinded: “Who are you, Lord?” According to Paul’s testimony, Jesus answered quickly and clearly: “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. Rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you, delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles — to whom I am sending you to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place amount those who are sanctified by faith in me.”
Jesus didn’t argue any points or try to convince Saul of his identity. He immediately identified himself and gave Saul a description of his calling and his purpose from that moment going forward.
Before we get any further, let’s discuss goads. I would bet my next paycheck (if I were a betting sort of guy) that you haven’t used the word goad in the last day, week, month, or possibly ever, unless you were teaching a lesson from Acts 26. A goad was basically a pole that was sharp on one end and used for the purpose of getting an ox to go in the right direction carrying the load you needed carried.
While some Bible scholars argue about this particular text because some ancient manuscripts have this phrase and others don’t, it seems to me that it actually sounds a lot like Jesus. Jesus was often using parables to convey a truth. He often gave word pictures to teach truth, so it seems to me that Jesus speaking from heaven sounded just like Jesus teaching his disciples when he was on earth. And Saul certainly understood exactly what Jesus was saying. It is difficult, even painful, to disobey what God clearly calls you to do.
I have kicked against a goad or two in my career. Not a sharp stick that someone was poking me with but rather by avoiding or ignoring something that I knew God was calling me to do. My excuse, and maybe yours at times, is the same as mine. We sometimes hide behind what we know is the thing we are supposed to do by continuing to either ignore the signs or by gaining the support of friends as we ask them to pray with us about a certain thing as if we didn’t really understand what we were supposed to do. It’s a pretty good stall tactic, but eventually you either have to decide to obey and follow God’s call or endure the poking until you callous over and become adept at disobedience.
Jesus may not be as specific with you about where and how you are to share his love with others, but don’t be surprised if you feel a twinge next time you fail to follow what God as asked you to do. Goads are painful.
Father, forgive us for the times we have ignored the obvious ministry you have given us. Give us confidence in your presence and the courage to share your love with someone this week. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Your Time with God’s Word
Acts 26:14-18 ESV
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