Grieving friends, sharing exile, looking forward to home someday

By Dean Collins

I think as followers of Jesus we would all agree with Peter. It is God’s great mercy that has allowed us to be born again into a living hope because of the resurrection of Jesus. Our inheritance is imperishable, undefiled, unfading, and kept in Heaven for us to anticipate eagerly because of our faith. But even as we embrace this truth, it is really hard to imagine living in eternity instead of living as an exile here on earth.

I think if we are honest with ourselves, we would never choose to be an exile. To be an exile is psychologically and physically the opposite of what we naturally want. We have a great desire to be included. Exclusion is lonely and at times dangerous and painful. It is to be avoided. To be included is far more pleasant and satisfying. It is to be sought.

However, we must understand that if we are followers of Jesus we are, in fact, exiles. We are merely visitors in this world. We are citizens of another kingdom. Which means our loyalty and our focus must be to the King of the kingdom where our citizenship is eternally secure.

The letter called First Peter is for us along with all of our brothers and sisters referenced by Peter as the “elect exiles.” We are chosen by God in Christ, yet we live as exiles here until Jesus returns and completes the transformation and restoration of our eventual and eternal home.

Watching and waiting

This morning as I prayed and read 1 Peter 1, I was thinking about several of my friends who said goodbye to their spouse in the last year. Some of these friends are my age. Some are older and some younger. All are in the elect exiles category as were their former earth-exiled spouses. All of this got me thinking about their experiences in the past months.

I have watched my friends grieve publicly and I’ve at times had the privilege of watching unguarded moments of more private and unfiltered grief. For some of these dear friends, they suffered for weeks, months, and even years as they watched their spouse let go of imperfect and worn-out tents where their vibrant spirit lived. Some friends were forced to sudden goodbyes or even to goodbyes expressed over thin yet eternal space.

I also began to think about several other friends who are currently watching and waiting as their spouse appears closer and closer to laying down their earthly home to inhabit resurrected bodies on a fully renewed earth. These friends quietly endure suffering they would not have chosen so quickly but bear with love and grace.

Taking claim

Bible scholars can’t be sure which elect exiles Peter had in mind when he wrote his letter. Some think widespread persecution had begun. Others think that was later and this suffering was the suffering of those who had been displaced and did not enjoy friendly inclusion with believers in the local church because they were simply not local.

Today I am considering that Peter’s beautiful words stretch to include my friends and all of us who share friendships with each other as we watched loved ones depart this world and take claim of what we all believe we one day will also receive.

But until then, even as we grieve and go through the trials of various kinds including our difficult seasons of goodbyes, we can be assured that this grief and these sufferings are now for just a little while. And all of this hope is because we believe in a resurrected Jesus we have not yet seen but know exists and is with us who are exiled now. But the miracle of faith also means that Jesus is fully with every one of our family members and friends who departed this place as believers in Jesus.

So I will grieve with my friends and I will try to muster the faith and even joy I see as they wait to be reunited with their spouse. I am grateful for friends who show me and others how to live and serve even in the middle of grief and suffering.

Your time with God’s Word
1 Peter‬ ‭1:1-17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Photo by Atharva Tulsi on Unsplash

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Dean Collins

Pastor, campus minister, counselor, corporate employee, Fortune 500 consultant, college president—Dean brings a wide range of experiences and perspectives to his daily walk with God’s Word. 

In 1979 he founded Auburn Christian Fellowship, a nondenominational campus ministry that still thrives today. In 1989 he founded and became executive director for New Directions Counseling Center, a service that grew to include several locations and counselors. In 1996 he became vice president of human resources for the CheckFree Corporation (3,000 employees) till founding DC Consulting in 1999. He continues part-time service with that company, offering executive leadership coaching, organizational effectiveness advice, and help with optimizing business relationships.

His latest pursuit, president of Point University since 2006 (interim president 2006-2009), has seen the college grow in enrollment, curriculum, physical campus, and athletic offerings. He led the school’s 2012 name change and relocation from Atlanta Christian College, East Point, Georgia, to Point University in West Point, Georgia. Meanwhile, he serves as board member or active volunteer with several nonprofits addressing issues ranging from global immunization to local government and education. 

He lives in Lanett, Alabama, with his wife, Penny. He has four children (two married) and five grandchildren. He plays the guitar, likes to cook, and enjoys getting outdoors, often on a nearby golf course. 

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