He knew but loved. Can we love even when we know what they did?

By Dean Collins

In graduate school I studied counseling along with marriage and family therapy. I did hundreds of hours of counseling under a clinical supervisor as I began my practice. From 1983 until 1995, I saw hundreds of individuals, couples, and families and logged several thousand hours of therapy. My training, intuition, and the Holy Spirit helped me understand a lot about a person during our sessions. One of my tools was a genogram, a family tree that maps relationships over generations. Along with a good interview and the information I gathered about the family system, I often understood more than the individual realized I would .

Never, however, did I know all a person ever did.

But according to the apostle John, the Samaritan woman said this about her interview with Jesus: “He told me all that I ever did.” I am pretty confident Jesus did not, in fact, tell her all that she ever did. The conversation didn’t last that long. But, indeed, he certainly did know all she ever did.

Know it all

Imagine you met someone who actually did know all you ever did. They knew the time you stopped and helped the person in the car wreck. They knew the time you saw the mother struggling with her grocery cart and three kids and you stepped in and helped. They could tell you about all the wonderful, kind acts you have done that no one ever saw.

But this person also knew the times you cheated playing cards. They knew the time you betrayed your business partner. They knew about relationships characterized by immoral or unethical behavior. They knew the time you lied to a family member.

The power of the Samaritan’s testimony was that Jesus, the Messiah of God, knew all she had ever done yet still offered her living water. He still spent time with her, risking his reputation because he cared for her. He knew all she ever did but chose not to dwell on it. Instead, he offered her a way forward, a relationship with God, and a new identity in her community. Her response was filled with enthusiasm. People needed to know that Jesus was indeed the Messiah and that they, just like she, could drink living water. She told everyone in her community what Jesus had said.

Loves us anyway

I guess we could read the text and say that was then. What a wonderful story and ending for this woman and even for her community. Or we could read the text and, prompted by the Holy Spirit, understand that Jesus is still the Messiah of God and that he does, in fact, know all we ever did and still loves us and offers his living water for us to drink.

Maybe when we run back to town today we won’t tell everyone we meet about a man who knows all we ever did. But what if we showed the kindness, love, mercy, and grace to others that Jesus showed to the Samaritan? What if they connect with Jesus because we took time to connect with them? What if someone drinks a cool glass of living water today because instead of judgment we listened, loved, and offered them kindness?

Maybe what would happen would be similar to what the townspeople expressed after hearing from the woman and meeting Jesus: “We have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.”

Knowing Jesus is far more important than knowing all a person ever did. Knowing Jesus fills us with his love and Spirit and compels us toward the people around us. And when we meet them, maybe we just start a conversation over a cup of coffee and trust that God will reveal himself through us.

Your time with God’s Word
John‬ ‭4:31-42‬ ‭ESV

Photo by cottonbro at pexels.com

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Dean Collins

Pastor, campus minister, counselor, corporate employee, Fortune 500 consultant, college president—Dean brings a wide range of experiences and perspectives to his daily walk with God’s Word. 

In 1979 he founded Auburn Christian Fellowship, a nondenominational campus ministry that still thrives today. In 1989 he founded and became executive director for New Directions Counseling Center, a service that grew to include several locations and counselors. In 1996 he became vice president of human resources for the CheckFree Corporation (3,000 employees) till founding DC Consulting in 1999. He continues part-time service with that company, offering executive leadership coaching, organizational effectiveness advice, and help with optimizing business relationships.

His latest pursuit, president of Point University since 2006 (interim president 2006-2009), has seen the college grow in enrollment, curriculum, physical campus, and athletic offerings. He led the school’s 2012 name change and relocation from Atlanta Christian College, East Point, Georgia, to Point University in West Point, Georgia. Meanwhile, he serves as board member or active volunteer with several nonprofits addressing issues ranging from global immunization to local government and education. 

He lives in Lanett, Alabama, with his wife, Penny. He has four children (two married) and five grandchildren. He plays the guitar, likes to cook, and enjoys getting outdoors, often on a nearby golf course. 

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How we can relate to those who don’t know Jesus: five lessons