How to stop fretting and start resting in the life God wants for us

By Dean Collins

Years ago, I probably wouldn’t have anticipated the word I choose today to describe my current attitude. But I will use it and own it. The word is fret. I’ve caught myself often fretting during the last 13 months. And if I am really honest, I’ll admit I began some occasional fretting long before the pandemic. We might use the words worry or anxious to characterize those times, but after reading through some definitions, I’ve decided fret is probably the better word. It’s also in the category of things Scripture says we shouldn’t do.

One definition suggests fretting is gradual wearing away or gnawing. It’s not always visible in my demeanor, but I’ve had friends express that I sound more like myself today. Which suggests that sometimes the fretting, gnawing, chafing, on my mind and spirit was more noticeable than I realized.

We have a long list of things that contribute to our fretting. I’m including you now in this discussion of fretting, because it might also be more visible on you than you’ll admit! Some of the reasons for fretting are pandemic related. Many have fretted over health concerns, the economy, and the disruption that created so much isolation and loneliness. But if we are honest, we’ll see these are only a few of life’s challenges we face every year that create a decision moment. Do we proceed with faith or do we default to fretting?

Opposing tensions

Psalm 37 opens with a clear message: “Fret not because of evildoers.” The whole psalm lays out the tension between the opposing realities of good and evil. Some practice righteousness, and others do the opposite. It’s interesting to consider what can happen because some do evil, act selfishly, and oppose God. Their ungodliness can create emotional distress that leads to fretting. We may not be involved in the evil, but we watch as other people’s behaviors lead some affected by their actions to fret.

The text implies that God is fully aware that wrongdoing is rampant. He also isn’t anxious about it. God understands the nature and origins of evil and the full impact of its damage. But God also knows the limitations of evil and the ultimate end of all evil and evildoing. While he hates the damage and pain of unrighteousness, God is fully aware and in control of the timeline. The psalmist, understanding these realities, offers us an alternative to fretting about all that can and often does go wrong in our world.

Instead of fretting we are called to four alternatives. Verse 3 gives us the proper order for our actions:

1)Trust in the Lord
2) Do good
3) Dwell in the land
4) Befriend faithfulness

These aren’t the only four behaviors in our toolkit, but they lay a foundation, not just for a day or a season, but for a life where fretting is not necessary.

Trust

We all have people we trust. The trust we have in a friend or a spouse wasn’t instant. Attraction might be instant, but trust is established by observation and experience. We observe a person’s character through their attitudes and behaviors. We watch how they interact with others and observe their choices. We do this over time, and time creates experiences that allow us to see and establish trust.

We came to trust God as we observed him in action with us, with others, and in his Word. As we watched God, we discovered his dependability and his consistency. And we eventually came to realize that God always keeps his promises. So it is no surprise that David tells us to trust God instead of fretting about evildoers. One will never abandon, but the other will always seek to take advantage or destroy.

Do good

Next, we do good. Our trustworthy God is the essence of goodness. In him and from him we see and know what actions are good and which ones are not. God’s goodness is centered in his love. Many places in Scripture we see and understand the depth of God’s love. As recipients of his love, we possess the ability through God’s Spirit that lives in us to love others and to do good.

Where do we do this good that shifts our focus from fretting to faith? Right where we live. We are told to dwell in the land. Pick a place and settle into your community, your job, your family, and do good where you are every day.

And then enjoy the benefits of faithfulness, which include experiencing safety and having what we need. As we settle into God’s faithfulness, we can develop faithfulness to and for others so they can also discover the alternative to fretting.

Selfish and evil people will remain until the final curtain call, the planned full restoration of all things on earth. But no evildoer survives in the end. And no destruction is permanent.

Action steps

Psalm 37 is filled with actions we can take when we discover ourselves fretting. Here are just a few more if the first four don’t completely end your fretting.

• Delight in the Lord and have your heart’s desires fully realized (v. 4).
• Commit your ways to God and watch him act in your behalf (v. 5).
• Be still before God and wait on him (v. 7).
• Remember the wicked won’t be around forever (v. 9).
• As the people of God, have confidence that we have a rich inheritance that includes a new earth (vv. 9,11).
• Trust that God will order our steps forward if we ask (v. 23).
• Always turn away from evil and do something good instead (v. 27).
• Keep up with those who practice righteousness, because they have a future filled with peace (v. 37).
• Never forget God is our strength and refuge and we can and should run to him when the first hint of fretting begins (vv. 39,40).

You and I have had enough fretting, and it’s time to put an end to it. It’s a decision we can make today, and the results are guaranteed. I’m choosing to stop fretting. Want to join me?

Your time with God’s Word
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭37 ‭ESV‬‬

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