In the silence we might discover a friend
Yesterday I wrote about the confrontation that may come to us in the silence. Silence often reveals our insecurities. But silence might also initiate a new intimacy.
As a former marriage and family therapist, I many times sat with couples discussing intimacy. Often silence settled over the room when I dared to suggest we discuss what is a private yet important dimension of marriage. There are many impediments to intimacy: health issues, busy schedules, financial stress, the demands of raising children, to name a view. These can all be addressed if the couple is willing. But one aspect of intimacy sometimes ignored is friendship.
Friendship is important in a marriage. And one of the healthy ways spouses can improve their connection with each other is developing quality friendships. Men having male friends and women having female friends takes relational pressure off the couple while enhancing the maturity each spouse brings to their marriage. When each spouse has few friends, the emotional intimacy forced on their marriage is often more than it can bear. Marriages shouldn’t bear the whole weight of our individual relational needs.
The best friendship
The friendship that can best benefit a marriage, as well as all other human relationships, is our friendship with God.
All the way back to the Garden of Eden we discover the friendship God desired with Adam and Eve. He offered evening outdoor walks rich with conversation. He provided them understanding of all he had created. God held back only one thing in his friendship with man, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Adam and Eve tested their intimacy and friendship with God for the taste of this fruit and to know for themselves what God knew.
A few chapters later we discover that God still desired friendship with his creation. The conversation with Abraham in Genesis 18 disclosed how much God was willing to share and to do for Abraham and his family.
Yesterday I quoted Isaiah when he challenged God’s beloved children by calling them to be silent before God. Soon he adds comfort to his message. He spoke of the friendship God shared with Abraham centuries earlier and gave Israel a picture of what it means when God chooses you. Take a moment of silence and hear what was offered to God’s chosen, because it’s still offered today:
“My friend”
“I have chosen you and have not cast you off”
“Fear not I am with you”
“Be not dismayed I am your God”
“I will strengthen you”
“I will help you”
“I will hold you up by my righteous right hand”
“Those who are incensed against you and strive against you shall be nothing “
“Those who contend against you shall perish“
“Those who contend against you shall be put to shame and confounded”
“You will look for those who contend against you but you will not find them”
“Fear not, I am the one who helps you”
In John 15 we hear Jesus speak similar words to the disciples.
“You are my friends if you do what I command “
“No longer do I call you servants”
“I have called you friends because everything God has told me I am sharing with you”
“I chose you”
“I appointed you to bear fruit that abides forever “
“You can ask the Father anything in my name”
Just as with Adam, Abraham, and Israel, Jesus restated the offer and promises of friendship with God. If we choose to trust God and accept his offer not only of forgiveness but also friendship, he will walk with us in every situation and be beside us in every relationship.
Friendship with God will deepen your marriage. It will add depth to your other relationships. It will make your work more productive. It will drive away your fear. It will increase the effectiveness and power of your prayers.
God is available to meet you in the silence. It is there that you might just hear him call you his friend.
Your time with God’s Word
Genesis 18:1-2, 17-19; James 2:23; Isaiah 41:1-13; John 15:14-16; Isaiah 42:6-9 ESV
Photo by Gerrit Vermeulen on Unsplash
