Lies spread, reputations damaged, finances hurt—all because of gossip
By Dean Collins
Gossip: “A person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others; a rumor or report of an intimate nature,” Merriam-Webster.
The writer of Proverbs and other biblical writers sometimes refer to a gossip as a whisperer, and we are warned not to associate with such people. And for good reason.
The problems with gossip
First it will be tempting both to listen to the gossip and to spread it. Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.” When a host serves refreshments or appetizers that look and taste delicious, it is hard to not indulge. And like the Lay’s potato chip commercial from decades ago, it is hard to have just one bite!
The definition of gossip suggests that the content of the gossip may or may not be true. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. The problem is that there is a lot of information simply not ours to share. I don’t know that any research has been done to determine the amount of gossip spread by Christians versus non-Christians. What I do know from personal experience is that the worst gossip I have heard and that caused me the most harm was gossip spread by Christian brothers.
The damage from gossip
In one case a brother in Christ repeated lies that someone else had shared with him. The gossip was not only harmful to me but to my employer. While there was no truth to the gossip, it damaged the reputation of the Christian organization where I was employed, damage that could be cleaned up only after many phone calls and meetings.
In a more recent situation, someone shared whispers that spread to who knows how many, and this gossip also caused reputational and financial harm. Once the fire is lit it is hard to put out, even if the first gossip thought they were causing no harm. Proverbs says the only way to stop the fire of gossip is to stop adding fuel to it.
In current culture the damage of whisperers and gossips is even greater due to the numerous and easily shared platforms of texts, emails, and social media. We must avoid receiving and spreading information that is not ours to share.
How to avoid gossip
The apostle Paul gives us a perspective that can be helpful in avoiding participation in gossip.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4: 8-9 ).
When presented with gossip and rumor, the first thing we must do is not repeat it to another person. Second, we can ask the person who shared it with us why they thought it important for us to hear this information. A good third step is to pray and ask God for wisdom in what to do with the information that has been shared. We can also pray for the person who shared the gossip with us. And we can take Paul’s instructions to heart and choose to think about and focus on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and excellent. Filling our minds and hearts with the truth of Scripture is a strong antidote to spreading gossip.
Finally, we can do what Paul recommends in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Encourage one another and build one another up.”
Father forgive us for the times we have inadvertently or deliberately participated in spreading rumors and gossip. Today we commit to focusing on you, your Word, and on Christlike behavior in every situation. Reveal to us people we need to apologize to who we may have harmed by our participation in gossip. Guide us by your Holy Spirit that we will always work to build each other up and never tear others down. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Your time with God’s Word
Proverbs 18:8, 20:19, 26:20, 22; 1 Timothy 5:13; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Philippians 4:8-9; Matthew 12:33-37; James 3:5-6 ESV
Photo by AndreyPopov at istockphoto.com
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