Mentoring the Generations Behind Us
By Dean Collins
Gen Z, Millennials, and Gen X are all looking for mentors. Some are obsessed with finding someone to guide them, to teach them, to train them. There is much to praise in this attitude. These generations want to learn and do well and succeed in life. Having worked in businesses, universities, and churches, I have a few tentative thoughts about why our younger generations want mentors and what we need to do to meet this need.
While parents usually try to do everything they can to help their children mature, our youth have needs that family support alone cannot meet. And in some cases, parents begin their families with significant maturity deficits, which results in less wisdom and understanding about life to offer their children. Subconsciously, many young people feel the void that absent parents created, and they are longing for adults to help them learn what they would have otherwise learned in a healthy family.
But that is not all of it. Some of the deficit that young people feel may have been created by the strong self-will and determination that older generations have demonstrated. I wonder if those of us who are 40 and older have sent signals to young people that we have it all figured out. Maybe we have misled our young people to think that hard work, self-reliance, and determination are the secrets to success. I'm not against any of those traits, and I will admit to possessing most of them, but we might need to reset that we actually don’t have all the answers but have figured out where we can find wisdom and help for life’s challenges.
The thing that I think we may have forgotten to share with our younger friends is that we really aren't as smart or wise as the impression we give. And if we have acquired any wisdom, it didn't just come from the school of hard knocks but rather was learned in prayer and meditation on God's word. Solomon wrote a lot about this topic. His father David did as well, and both give us countless examples of the source of wisdom and its availability to all who ask, seek, and look to God for it. Proverbs 8 basically tells us that God is literally standing at the crossroads, on a bench, standing and shouting his thoughts ahead of every decision we must make. There is no time when his wisdom is not available. God’s thoughts are always right and never will lead us down a wrong path.
There is another thing we may have confused our youth about. We often pursued the wrong stuff. In fact, we may have suggested that material possessions and wealth are the most important things in life. I'm not suggesting that there is anything wrong with these things, but we might have sent the message that the material things are the most important measurement in maturing as men and women. If we read scripture carefully, we see that wisdom is better than all the stuff the world has to offer. Scripture says it this way: “Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you desire (or possess) cannot compare with her!”
If young people are seeking mentors, then it is time for more of us with a few wrinkles and bruises from daily living to step up and volunteer to help mentor the generations that are behind us.
Here are some tips for those who are willing to take on mentorship:
Pray about who God may be leading you to mentor.
Remember that good mentoring begins with listening before speaking.
Ask questions about what your mentee would like out of the relationship.
Craft a plan together, setting clear goals and boundaries.
Set the expectation that the mentee must drive the relationship.
Don’t just share your life successes; be willing to share your failures and some of your struggles even now.
What might happen if we were willing to invest in the next generation? I think we would see growth in those coming behind us, and we would also feel more optimistic about the future.
Go find someone to mentor. But make sure you show them where to find real gold.
Father, forgive us for the times we have been lazy about helping the generations that follow us. Today, open our hearts and minds to the people you want us to invest in. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Your Time with God’s Word
Proverbs 8:1-11, 14, 19, 32-35 ESV
Photo by Pexels
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