Sticks, stones, and the potential of our words for either good or ill

By Tim Woodruff

Do you remember the children’s rhyme, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.”? OK, I know—it’s a bit gruesome, but there’s a point: We don’t need to fear words spoken or written by another person. And with so many words swirling around us all the time, we might even conclude we’re resilient to this onslaught and we’re not affected. But research and personal observation tell us the opposite. Words do influence our thinking, our mood, how we view ourselves, and our actions. We all know that certain words, spoken or written by certain people, can surely change us for better or for worse.

We all know certain words can change us for better or for worse.

Words are like seeds; they are powerful and have a lasting impact on those around us. Just as a seed grows into a beautiful and thriving plant, words have the ability to spread positivity, comfort, and hope. On the other hand, just as a seed can grow into a weed and cause harm, words can also bring pain and hurt. It is essential that we use our words wisely, in a way that aligns with God's love and grace.

The Bible gives us teachings that encourage us to use uplifting language. The starting point is to have a heart full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, which are the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Our words are simply an extension of what is in our hearts. When our hearts are filled with the Spirit, then our words will reflect the Source.

When our hearts are filled with the Spirit, then our words will reflect the Source.

Colossians 4:6 advises, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person." Salt here refers to the way we use our words to preserve and enhance the impact they have on others. We are called to use our words to bring life, comfort, and hope to those around us.

Proverbs 18:21 states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”  Our words have the ability to bring life and hope or the potential to bring death and destruction. We should never underestimate the power of our words.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Proverbs 16:24 reminds us, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.” This is a beautiful picture of the outcome of using our words for good. Speaking words of encouragement and support to those around us brings sweetness and health. Our words have the power to heal and restore. When we speak words of encouragement, we not only bring a smile to someone's face, but we also benefit ourselves.

James 4:11 teaches us, “Don't criticize one another, brothers and sisters.” Criticizing or judging others causes pain and hurt, and tears relationships apart. Our words have the power to create division and harm, and it is essential that we use words to align us with God’s desire for us. When we hear the words of people we trust and know they have our best interest at heart, we can then be in a place to listen and receive godly counsel and correction.

James 3:18, says, “And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.” This verse emphasizes the importance of using language to sow peace and righteousness. When we speak positively, we are spreading peace and planting seeds of positivity in the hearts of others, which brings about growth and positive transformation.

Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” When we use our words to promote peace, we not only help others, but we reflect God's love and grace. Our words have the power to bring people together and to build relationships that align us and others with God's plan for unity.

 Of course, we may speak out warnings and correction, under the right circumstances. But speaking about what we are for is a stronger and more effective approach. This tactic is inspiring and productive, focusing on solutions and positive outcomes, rather than solely pointing out problems and opposition. It is easier to build support and collaboration around a shared vision than simply opposing something unwanted. Positive language creates a supportive and encouraging environment, while negative language can have the opposite effect. Expressing yourself this way helps clarify your values and priorities and leads to more creative and innovative solutions.

Positive language creates a supportive and encouraging environment.

Scripture reminds us to be positive and uplifting in our speech and language toward others as a vital part of our Christian walk. Our words have immense power, and it is our responsibility to use words wisely, in a manner that brings comfort, hope, and joy to those around us. By paying attention to all this and asking the Holy Spirit to guide us, day by day and moment by moment, we can change the children’s rhyme to, “Sticks and stones could break my bones, but words can encourage and build me.”

Tim Woodruff is the executive pastor at New Hope Baptist Church in Fayetteville, Georgia. Before coming to New Hope in 1999, he worked in inflight service, information technology, and strategic planning at Delta Air Lines.  

Tim has taught at Point University, Reformed Seminary, and the Baptist College of Florida. He holds degrees from the University of Georgia, Georgia State University, Liberty University, and Southern Seminary. He has led leadership and discipleship seminars nationally and internationally.

Tim lives in Fayetteville, with his wife Suzanne – he has three grown children with wonderful spouses and three grandchildren. He loves cycling, so be careful if you see him on the road.

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