The automobile accident that taught me—and my father—about God
By Dean Collins
I was 16 and I made a mistake. I borrowed my mom’s car to drive my girlfriend to cheerleading practice. The car had manual steering. Some of my younger readers have never had the experience of no power steering. The rest of us remember how hard a no-power-assisted turn can be if you do it with one hand. My other hand was around my girlfriend’s shoulder when I made the turn. I did fine until I hit the pothole that jarred the car into a short cement post.
I got out quickly, and there were no scrapes or dents! Huge sigh of relief. As a gentleman, I went around to the passenger side to open the door for my special friend, but the door would not open. Not from the inside or the outside. A little sweat appeared on my brow. I drove to where my mother worked and, after an interrogation, coughed up the part of the story where my hand was not on the steering wheel but around my girlfriend’s shoulder. She called my dad.
About two minutes later I was told to hand over my driver’s license and that my father would discuss the matter with me when he got home. More sweat in more places.
When my dad arrived at home I was sitting in the living room. He walked in and without saying a word took my driver’s license out of his shirt pocket and tore it into pieces. (Younger readers note we used to have paper and not plastic, which by the way is very earth-friendly.) I was then told I was grounded for a month, would need to write a paper on driving safely, and pay for all damages. I had no more sweat left.
Visiting the body shop
The next morning was Saturday. I was awakened by my father at 6:00, and we drove to the auto body shop where we met the owner to assess the damages. My father chided me the whole drive over. His anger had not subsided. He let the owner know that I would be paying for everything and that I needed to learn an important lesson.
And then the situation changed dramatically. The owner called my dad by his first name and said, “Emanuel, you see that car over there?” My dad nodded yes. “That teenage boy died in that accident driving while intoxicated. You see that car over there? That teenage driver is in intensive care.”The owner then turned to me and said, “Son, I’m glad you weren’t hurt. Whatever the cost of repairs, I will work with you on a payment plan.” My dad was silent on the ride home.
I did write my paper on safety, and my dad reduced my restrictions to two weeks. I didn’t end up having to pay for the repairs. Insurance covered everything but the deductible, and my father never asked me for it. Dad never really said anything more about it after our trip to the body shop. But we both learned a lesson.
What we learned
I learned to keep my hands on the steering wheel! But I also learned a lot about mercy and forgiveness. I didn’t have to pay for the damages to the car. I did have some consequences, but they weren’t nearly as harsh as originally planned.
I believe my father learned that discipline is one thing but anger and chiding aren’t particularly helpful. The shop owner had pointed out the value of human life and the importance of a loving relationship without having to explain much.
Earthly fathers and Heavenly Father
As I read from Psalm 103 today I thought about some of my dad’s struggles in parenting. He did some things right for sure. However, he often let his anger get the best of him.
Some of us had great fathers, and many did not. Sometimes our relationship with our human father clouds our understanding of our Heavenly Father. And no matter how good we are at parenting, we are a distant second to the love, grace, mercy, support, and generosity of God the Father.
As you read these verses, breathe in how much you are loved and cherished by our Father in Heaven. If you are holding on to grudges, hatred, or disappointment from mistakes your father made, maybe it’s time to ask God to help you forgive and move past those wounds. If you are a parent, then say a prayer that God will give you the wisdom and grace you need as you raise your children. Parenting is not always easy. And if you are uncertain about your parenting skills, then ask for help from another parent or counselor.
I pray that our parenting will allow our children to see the work of God in us and create a wonderful connection to the Father above!
Your time with God’s Word
Psalm 103:8-14 ESV
Photo by Jesús Rodríguez on Unsplash
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