The Journey of Grief

By Dean Collins

There are a lot of people grieving on any given day, but it seems like the numbers are reaching into the hundreds of thousands and even millions in recent days. The devastation of Hurricane Helene, while predictable in some places in Florida, came as a shock in parts of Georgia, North Carolina, East Tennessee and other places in the path of the storm. The loss of life was significant. The loss of cars, homes, businesses, and pets makes it hard for many to imagine what life will be like in the days, months, and years ahead. Life has changed dramatically for many, and for others, it will never be the same.

As we all pray for people we know who have experienced great loss, we can only imagine the grief they are feeling. We all know something of grief from our own experiences, but if you have lived long enough, you also know that grief is very similar for everyone, yet remarkably different, at the same time. Grief is a journey, and no one can tell you the length of your journey nor predict when things will get easier. And sometimes we feel guilty when it does feel easier. That is also a part of grief.

One day last week, in the middle of sharing thoughts and prayers with many who had experienced loss from the storm, I also had conversations with two friends – one my age and another in her early 20s. The first, I have known for 50 years; the latter, for just a couple. My peer recently celebrated his wife’s life when she died after a 16-month battle with cancer. My younger friend buried her mother, who was not yet 50, four months ago.

I had those two conversations with my friends back-to-back over the course of a couple hours; one was in person and the other on the phone. Sometimes the old therapist side of me suddenly kicks in as I listen and discuss loss and grief. But I also try to set that aside and just listen and share stories that may provide some help. Being present is probably the best thing we can do for a grieving friend. There is great comfort in presence and in listening. And both of those gifts are better than any advice we offer in seasons of grief.

When I finished my conversations, I looked at some Scripture passages I had recently set aside to potentially use in one of my devotionals. None of these passages were written by the biblical writers to address grief. But then again, since the word of God is living and active, any Scripture might oddly bring comfort or direction in times of grief. So I will share just a few brief thoughts I had as I read these passages with the backdrop of grief in my mind.

In 1 Peter 4:7-11, the apostle opens by saying, “the end of all things is at hand.” We would do well to remember that this is true on any given day and at any moment. Jesus may come suddenly, and our lives or someone else’s may end in any given moment. Life is short, and we never know exactly how short it is on this side of eternity. I won’t expand much on the next idea from this passage, but I did think about how someone with a terminal illness thinks about these words in their last weeks and days. I suspect some of my friends whose family members have moved into eternity recently might say they saw their loved ones living out this passage, even caring for family until the very end.

Psalm 4:8 ends by saying, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Sleep is often a struggle for the grieving. But in time, we discover that peace comes, and so does sleep, because of the goodness of the Lord.

While praying with my young friend, the next two passages came to mind. In 1 Peter 5:7 we read, “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you,” and in Matthew 11:28, we read, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." As we prayed, I said that these were not one-time offers or actions. Our loving father wants us to bring all our anxieties to him day after day. And we can come to him as often as we want, in times of need and in times of blessing.

As friends with those who grieve, we can also place the burdens of those we love in the Lord’s care day by day. He will bring comfort that we cannot bring.

Finally, Paul said these sobering words that we often hear as we consider our priorities and how we live our lives: “for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.”

When we say goodbye to our loved ones, we sometimes place pictures, sports memorabilia, art, or other things in the casket. But we know that those items don’t make it past the dirt in the cemetery. However, I suspect that from the grandstand of heaven, our departed loved ones might just be smiling, because they shared Jesus with us, and they know that one day we will in fact be what they took with them to heaven. We will one day fill the empty chair next to them in glory.

Father, thank you that you promise to be with us in every moment from now and through eternity. We bring the needs of the millions we don’t know who are grieving loss right now. Comfort them by your Holy Spirit. Use us to help them get through the day as we pray for them and give our time and treasure to help them. Father, I pray that today you would reveal yourself in big and small ways to everyone who has experienced loss recently. Make us aware of when we need to be present and when we need to allow space for grieving. Use us as you choose to bring comfort. In Jesus' name, amen.

Your Time with God’s Word
1 Peter 4:7-11, 5:7; Psalm 4:6-8; Matthew 11: 28-30; 1 Timothy 6:7 ESV

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
To receive daily posts delivered directly to your inbox, complete the form at the bottom of our home page.