This is the time to take a breath and then seek some perspective

By Dean Collins

Most of the time I can avoid thinking much about what others say about me. We probably worry about that more when we are younger, but with age and some life experiences, we realize that not everything someone says about us or someone we love is necessarily true. And what we heard might not always be what they said.

Those of us who are leaders need to be especially careful about believing our good or bad press. Paying attention to the headlines might inflate the ego or demoralize the spirit, so it’s best to be careful about what you hear, read, or are told about others’ comments.

Good name, God’s glory

Solomon gives some good advice on the importance of seeking a good name. In fact, according to the wise king, a good name is more valuable than a big bank account. Character and reputation are to be guarded. These attributes allow us to do what Jesus told us to do and for the reason he told us to do it. “Let your light shine before others,” Jesus said, “so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Both our character and actions should be seen by others, but not for our benefit and attention. We live generous lives visibly so that God is glorified. We don’t live good lives so others will think we are wonderful or the best. We want the people we come in contact with to know that Jesus is the best and worthy of praise.

Tired and vulnerable

Most of the time I don’t pay much attention to the praise or the criticism that comes from others in some retelling of events. But when I’m fatigued, the enemy knows a good technique is to call some negativity or even perceived negativity to my attention. I might feel some righteous indignation, except that it’s rarely really righteous. “Self-righteous indignation” is a better label.

Just as Solomon encouraged the development of a good name, he warned us about taking to heart what others say about us. Solomon went on to remind his readers that all of us at times get frustrated and angry and all of us sometimes say negative things about others. Maybe this is a hint of what Jesus meant when he cautioned in the Sermon on the Mount against judging others. And in that same sermon, he told his disciples to forgive others just as our Heavenly Father forgives us.

Solomon was right. All of us fall victim to sometimes assuming the worst of someone and, after being hurt by another’s words, thinking and even saying something negative about them. James, in the third chapter of his letter, was very specific about the difficulty in controlling the tongue. He told us we can’t curse others and bless others with the same mouth. Since we don’t have a second mouth, this means top talking bad about others.

Slow down, look up

When we take time to slow down and spend time in God’s Word and in prayer, we will gain the right perspective on our actions. In the calm of morning and evening prayers, we realize how much we need God’s grace and forgiveness. It’s then that we see we are also God’s vessels called to pour out grace to those who wound us.

When I step back from the negative comments and filter them through God’s grace, I think afresh about hurtful comments. Often people criticize or denigrate not intending to hurt others but because they don’t understand a situation or because they themselves have been hurt. Maybe instead of reacting with anger toward someone who says something negative about us, we should pause and ask God for his wisdom, discernment, and grace about the situation and the person. It’s often hard to do this in the moment and especially when we are fatigued by our own worries and work. Yet learning to act with grace toward others cleanses our souls and can bring transformation to everyone around us.

Hit pause

When you feel your temperature rising based on something you’ve heard that someone else has said, hit pause, take a breath, and say a prayer. Everyone will be better for it. And most likely you will find the grace to let the words roll off your back and move forward with the work God has given you to do that day. Don’t let the enemy interrupt what God is doing in you or through you based on some bit of gossip or misunderstanding.

Your time with God’s Word
Ecclesiastes 7:21-22; Matthew 6:14-15; 7:1; Proverbs 22:1; Matthew 5:16; James 3:8-12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

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