What I’m learning about the benefit of being the last to speak
By Dean Collins
I was quiet in class as a student throughout all my school years. I made good grades, especially in elementary school, but I was hesitant to speak up in class. I learned by listening and watching others. I got along well with all of my teachers, but I wasn’t one to answer questions or offer opinions in class. If I had my guitar in my hands, I felt more comfortable. I could sing in front of anyone, but I pulled back from speaking.
Looking back, I think it was around age 16 I realized something new. The fact that I was willing and able to sing in front of others translated into others thinking I could also speak in front of others. This was particularly true in the context of the church. It wasn’t long after leading singing and singing at concerts and in bands that I was asked to share a devotion or teach a class. I quickly learned I was comfortable with the guitar but I needed a lot of help if I was going to speak or teach something. I think it was fear of saying something stupid that first led me to pray for wisdom! Fear can be a good motivator sometimes.
Seek wisdom
Praying regularly for wisdom makes you a better listener. I noticed in my college years that while my professors were quite comfortable speaking in the classroom, they were often more quiet and observant outside the classroom. It was in those contexts that I really began to learn to listen to others. The more I listened, the more I learned.
The more I listened, the more I learned.
I also found myself drawn to those who demonstrated wisdom in their lives. In almost every case, I found men and women who prayed for wisdom and who took time to read their Bibles regularly. Their example created a lifelong discipline in my life that I have kept now for many decades.
Throughout the Book of Proverbs we are encouraged to seek wisdom. Midway through chapter 16 we learn that it is not just the reading of words but the pause to give thought to the Word that leads to treasures of understanding. Solomon said that when we give thought to the Word and learn to trust in the Lord we are blessed and discover good. Time and time again I have found this to be true.
Through the years I have been asked to speak and lead in many situations and places well beyond my comfort zone or aspirations. Recently, while I was facilitating a discussion with a group of prominent community leaders, one person said I was one of the smartest people he knew. This caught me off guard, because I can assure you he knows many people much smarter. As a solid “B” student in high school and undergraduate college work, I know there are many people much smarter than I.
Keep silent
Proverbs 17:27-28 indicates that when we restrain our words, our knowledge increases. Again, it’s listening over speaking that helps us learn. The wise king adds that if we maintain a cool spirit we gain understanding. And when we keep silent we are considered wise. And then the clincher: “When he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”
I have tried to practice listening more than speaking, taking time to think about the things I read, especially from scripture, and learning when to simply keep my mouth shut to allow others to speak. When we practice these simple principles found in Proverbs, we develop wisdom, our speech becomes more fair and balanced, our persuasiveness increases, and the graciousness of our spirit brings health to ourselves and leads to kindness to others.
The good news is that we can learn and practice these principles anytime we are ready. And when we do take time to listen, pray for wisdom, and treat others with kindness, we will find God using us in ways we could never imagine.
Your time with God’s Word
Proverbs 16:20-24, 17:27-28
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels.com.
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