How everyday forgiveness can help us cope with everyday life

By Mark A. Taylor

In one of our latest efforts to rid the basement of accumulated clutter, I paused in one corner to ponder the framed art removed from my office when I retired almost four years ago. One more time I considered its message to me, before we donated it to Salvation Army

The print displayed 10 rows of squares, arranged in 7 columns, 70 squares in all. Each square was composed of 7 torn-paper strips, 490 of them filling the frame.

The piece was a graphic demonstration of the Lord’s challenge to Peter recorded in Matthew 18:22. As the King James Version renders it, the Lord told Peter not to stop at forgiving someone 7 times, but 70 times 7. My art had creatively arranged 70 x 7 torn paper strips in a muted collage.

Seeking forgiveness

Each strip represented to me another occasion for forgiveness, another misspoken word or unwholesome thought or unfortunate decision or unrealized opportunity—specifics that seemed to be repeated in a grievous pattern.

I know later translations render “70 times 7” as “77,” but that doesn’t matter. My comfort came in the deeper meaning of Jesus’ words: God’s forgiveness is never-ending; the blood of Christ will cover all of my mistakes, no matter how often they are repeated, no matter how many squares of seven my failures could fill.

Granting forgiveness

But Christ’s instruction to Peter was not so much about asking for forgiveness, as about granting it. The rabbinical code of that day demanded forgiving three times for the same offense, and so boisterous Peter thought he would surely please Jesus by doubling the number and adding one.

But the response of Jesus meant, simply, that forgiveness must not end. Perhaps we have never been confronted 490 or even 77 times with the same sin from the same person, but most of us would not tolerate either number without giving up on the offender. But the command of Christ is a challenge to more than forgiveness for notable transgressions. I believe Jesus here is setting the standard for patient, persistent, daily grace.

Demonstrating grace

So if I have a friend who talks too much, I may pleasantly find a way to direct the conversation to someone else in the group, but she’ll still be my friend.

With the person who’s usually negative or critical, I’ll look for a chance to say something positive, but I won’t ignore or avoid him.

Maybe I work with someone who usually finds a way to avoid work. Maybe someone on my team brags about results that began with my initiative. Maybe on the job, or in my volunteer service, I’ve helped someone succeed who then takes all the credit for the accomplishment. In each case, I won’t feel compelled to set the record straight. I won’t justify letting the relationship deteriorate. I’ll forgive and move on.

When the young child or the failing grandmother asks the same question again and again, I’ll just answer it. When the ride-share partner is always late, I’ll set an earlier departure time. When the person closest to me wants me neater, or if I’m a neat freak constantly bothered by her clutter, I’ll find a way to cope without carping. I may not realize or say I’m forgiving these people. I’ve simply committed to demonstrating grace.

Any of us may someday be called to forgive some major offense: a betrayal, a damaging lie, a painful unfaithfulness. Those sins will come with consequences, of course. In major breakdowns, as well as common irritations, forgiveness does not mean ignoring boundaries.

Needing God

But the message of Jesus to Peter tells us how to handle everyday problematic situations caused by people who are simply wrong. Jesus says, “Forgive.” In obeying him we discover a flowing spring of grace that refreshes the soul, washes away bitterness, and prepares us to move forward without the weight of resentment.

I have people in my life who regularly make me mad. But I try to remember I likely rub some people the wrong way, too. And if I back up to consider how often my own self-absorption or carelessness or blind spots lead me to fall short of God’s perfect standard, I yearn for him not to desert me. I’m guessing I need that from him 77 times every year, no, every week. Could it even be every day?!

When each new bedtime bids me evaluate my passing life, I must bow in awe that God will still be there to help me when the next morning dawns. Everyday forgiveness is what I need, just as it’s what he asks me to demonstrate to the fallen people all around me.

This post originally appeared April 10, 2021.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash