Why a Christian friend may bring us closer to God than anything else
By Mark A.Taylor
Earlier this year I described a small circle of friends who have been our mainstay for the last 18 months. We’ve met almost every weekend, even throughout the shutdown of the pandemic. When we could no longer meet outside, we gathered in an airy living room with masks in separate corners. We’ve laughed and occasionally cried, always supporting each other through house repairs, family upsets, or medical concerns. We’re with them this week, at a cabin not far from the Smoky Mountains, still taking Covid protocols when we’re out in public, still building a friendship that allows us to feel the strength of God through our lives as grace and goodness are extended to each other.
This experience reminded me of a piece about Christian friendship I posted here almost a year ago. This week, while I have more time for friend-building than writing, I decided to repost it.
To talk about friendship may feel like shopping for a Hallmark card. Friend—it’s such a warm word, such a positive idea, such a good thing to have. Who doesn’t like to introduce someone else as their friend?
But friendship is more than a sentiment, and the problem with a shallow view of friendship is twofold.
Best friend
I’ve already hinted at the first problem. An inadequate look at friendship may diminish the role of true friends. We too often use friend to describe those who are really only our acquaintances. We sometimes seek to inflate our own importance by introducing someone as our friend when he’s really only a buddy.
It’s true there are different levels of friendship. We naturally will be closer to one friend than another. We may have a close friend in one season of life and then drift away from them for any one of several understandable reasons. But we do well to remember an oft-repeated quote from a novel by S.E. Hinton: “If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” We need to think twice about careless use of the word friend.
Christian friend
Second, we need to think about the role of a Christian friend in our daily walk with God.
This may be especially challenging for men. Do a Google search for “male friendships” and you’ll find pages of references to the topic, many of them pointing out that men’s friendships are different than women’s. And even though most men long for friendships, many have trouble establishing them.
This can be especially crucial for Christian men. We must consider how to obey the simple commands to comfort, encourage, and teach one another. We must find someone safe to allow us to confess our faults to one another.
We need a Christian friend. Otherwise our spiritual growth may be stymied and life in general will probably be more difficult.
Friendship with Jesus
Those who have experienced Christian friendship, those who have been fully known and fully loved by at least one other human being, can better understand what Jesus offered when he said, “I have called you friends” (John 15:15). Just as our image of God the father is colored by our relationship with our human father, our understanding of Jesus as friend is helped by our open friendship with another Christian.
Dean challenged us last year to nurture a friendship with God. Clearly this involves something more than anything an earthly friendship can offer. But the latter can help make the former more real, more possible. This is why establishing and maintaining the right kind of friendship is a spiritual pursuit.
Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash
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